It's taken me a long time to learn this one... and I think in a way I will always be learning it throughout my life... but it just dawned on me while folding laundry- this is exactly where God wants me and my family right at this moment.
What I mean is- we have been on a rollercoaster with this adoption since we started pursuing it (Emily) three years ago. Maybe we are having a hard time remembering the earlier times- when we thought we were going to the Ukraine in December of '05, when we switched to Kaz (Jan '06), when we had to redo all that paperwork to get there (Feb '06), when it took all summer to go through the paperchase, when we had Taylor along the way (April '05), when Chris decided to pursue his dream of flying for the Army (Jan '06)... so many things have changed since we started this journey. Things we didn't know at the time. Things we never could have foreseen given all the crystal balls in the world or imagined ourselves. That is because God, in His infinite wisdom, chose to reveal them to us along the way and currently has us right where He wants us. I think half the battle is coming around to that realization that you ARE in fact where God wants you. The problem lies in ourselves, when we IMAGINE where we should be, or think that we should have been somewhere else the entire time. I think I've made the mistake of living like that- where I think Emily should be home right now with us, and by all accounts, she SHOULD. I am not at all agreeing with what is going on over there right now- but I am strangely at peace with it. Because I know HIS plan is better than my best dreamed up one. Even if it means more time separated from this little one that He's allowed us to meet and adopt. Even if it means I have to spend more time apart from her before I can truly know her. I suppose God felt much the same about me for 21 years.
I guess I just wanted to share that with you all. We are going on with life as usual here... kind of like we did before we went to Kaz, when we were just waiting to hear if we could go! The only difference now is that we have a face and a name and a month's worth of bonding with this precious child that we didn't know before. So when I say that we're going on with life as usual here, I mean we are taking life one day at a time and enjoying this part of the journey. I think this is one of the things that God wants to teach me, to just rest in Him every single day, no matter what. And I am. It doesn't bring Emily home faster if I sit here and worry.
Thanks for the forum to share everything we're learning on this amazing journey.
Carrie
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3 comments:
It is true that we do most of growing in the "valleys" of our lives! God uses these times to teach us so much and to draw us closer to Him! The Bible does teach us that when we seek His Kingdom first, he pours out His blessings in return! You are in that very place! I am very moved and think that it is wonderful that you can look at this moment in your lives as the place where God needs you to be! We must always remember that His timing is perfect, and that He knows our needs far better than we do! Hang in there! It's amazing how much deep-thinking takes place over the laundry pile! Keep folding, girl!
Dear Carrie and Family, My daughter Jen is also adopting, and asked me to pray for you and your family, as well as Emily. Consider it done! We wish all of you the best life has to offer. Just remember we have a GREAT God! Love to all, Joyce
excellent. :)
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